Why men have affairs?
Talk about a loaded subject that no one wants to speak about, this is it. Amusing thing, extramarital affairs have been going on since ancient times. Affairs can be filled with evils, cause sorrow, and other harms. Plus you have to wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and sincerety issue, funds, age difference, spiritual upbringing, guilt, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I shall classify an affair as a long term, maybe years long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other persons, married woman date.
Why do women have affairs? There are as many reasons as there are people seeking affairs. I suppose typically though it is just the human state, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
Naturally we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and exciting, and sex makes us escape the world for a small period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Somebody can switch the craving on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another person, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos humanity has erected against extra-marital affairs. For lots of individuals the yearnings will defeat their doubts and make them risk the fury of not only their relatives, but society too. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is very pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not wound your family or anybody else? You would need to lessen the danger you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is beneficial to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the major group, very big truly. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they are comfortable in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to look after. Your assets are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live together besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them completing the sex act, at least not with their othere half. An extramarital affair sometimes solves the problem while keeping the marriage intact.
Avoidance, sadly this is a frequent reason I fear. One or the other, frequently the man is sexually neglecting his spouse for a multitude of reasons. As a man I truly am grateful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them available to us males of romance, making them “milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, could be compassion is disappeared, maybe it is the closeness, could be neglect. Could be we have just developed separately, our general concerns diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is contradictory of what you want. Could be I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they look for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for financial gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.